The Bergie Underworld

"Bergie" as defined by Urban Dictionary:
"South African slang term for homeless person, hobo, etc.
Commonly found in cities, pushing a stolen shopping cart/trolley filled with the day's scavenged goods, and more often than not quite drunk, followed by a mutt ("pavement special" dog)...."

I have noticed that the common reaction to a bergie in Cape Town can differ drastically, ranging from shame and "white guilt" to a blase "they must have done something to deserve that" outlook. However, when a bergie asks you for money, the results often depend on the type of person asked.

Students tend to ignore them, staring straight ahead while their windows are tapped, tummies are rubbed and a colourful array of swearwords are thrown in the general direction of the offender. I say general because its quite hard to point in one direction whilst high on tik intoxicated. They scoffingly proclaim, "I'm a student, I can't afford to give away my money!"

If a bergie finds himself in the snobby Camps Bay area, the result will probably be a quickly wound up tinted window, whilst the coiffed bejewelled owner of a snazzy sports car will dramatically lift their hand to their forehead and squeal in a very fake compassionate voice "You cahn't give these people munny, thay just spend it on drugsss!"

Then you've got the bleeding heart types who, when confronted by a bergie, are caught up with guilt and go out of their way to make a swift and dangerous U-turn, speeding to the nearest 7-11 to buy a loaf of bread for the "poor homeless man." Often, on their return, the said homeless man will have passed out in the middle of the road pushed his trolley to greener pastures.

Personally, I always try to give something to any bergie that I come across. Hell, I don't even care if they use it on drugs! If it makes them feel warm and happy, and if they can forget where they are even for a little bit, then who are we to judge them?

On my way back from work the other day, I encountered a fascinating bergie who frequents the Landsdowne area. His thank you for the two rand i gave him was the most hilarious and simultaneously frightening thing I have ever seen, and I decided then and there to write my next article on the Bergie Underworld in Cape Town.

The Bergie Underworld is the name I have given to the bergie community. Just like any community, they have a leader, in this case the King of the Bergies. There are a few bergies in positions of power, the "Higher Bergies" and the rest of the community is made up of what I like to call "Lesser Bergies." It is interesting to note that this community has no cultural, racial or age discriminations. Anyone can be a bergie, as long as you have a passion for fine wines such as Autumn Harvest, Crackling or Paarl Perle, and a few missing teeth. Missing teeth seem to be a sign of status, as you will see in my next article, when i discuss the King of the Bergies.

Hannah Montana in bergie form

I would like to try and get some pictures of some of the Higher Bergies so that my next post can discuss these figures in greater detail. But for now I would like to say that this article was not meant to offend, it was meant to entertain.

These guys think its hilarious!